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2004-09-28 - 5:51 p.m.

For my daughter, cleanliness is definitely not next to godliness. No way, no how. We are currently playing a new game around our house. It is called, "No Emma, do not take off your bib". It requires two players (although more are certainly allowed). The minimum players are the Feeder (usually me) and the Boss (Emma). It is a simple game really, easy to learn, not a lot of rules or a complicated game board. It usually begins around bite #4 of whatever Emma is eating. She then reaches up with one hand and begins tugging at her bib, as if to say, "I don't need this damn bib". I usually am able to grab her hand and firmly say No. At this point in the game, the Boss (Emma)grins at me. I say No again, and she smiles bigger. Now, I will be honest and say that at this point in the game, it would be very easy to smile along with her and remove the bib. In fact, I won't even lie, I have done that on a few occasions. However, I then usually have a "flash forward" moment to 15 years from now with Emma grinning from ear to ear as she wields a kitchen knife! So, I quickly get a hold of myself, try to remember that I am the Mommy (but not the Boss) and put the bib back on. This game continues exactly the same way until her meal ends. Sometimes, during the challenging bonus round, she will get mad at me and refuse to open her mouth and turn her head from side to side as I try to feed her. That part is really fun, and I usually award myself 15 bonus points for every time I get the spoon in her mouth...so far the score is The Feeder (me) 15, the Boss (Emma) 200. I can feel myself gaining on her, though!
Once meal time is over, then I get the privelege of trying to clean Emma's face and hands. Boy, she does not like that at all!! If wearing a bib is a 3 on the pain scale, this is a 12 for sure. Emma does not mind the yellow, or orange, or green ring around her mouth. She thinks it looks pretty and would much prefer that I simply color code her outfits around it, rather than try to clean her off. So far the social stigma of leaving the house with a messy face has just not reared its ugly head for Emma.
I should have known this would be a problem the first time we tried to bathe her. Emma had her first bath at age 8 days, and boy, did she NOT like it one bit!!! In fact, Emma screamed (and I mean screamed) through all of her baths for the first 3 months of her life. Thank God she was a winter baby and did not require a lot of bathing. I always thought it had something to do with the loss of control in the big, giant infant tub (insert sarcasm here). I have to come to realize that she simply did not want to be clean. Apparently, she had already read too many Peanuts cartoons and adopted Pig Pen as her favorite character.
I will say that Emma now enjoys her baths, but only with one of her parents in there with her. Did I mention that we call Emma, The Boss??!!

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